Y’know, being a parent rocks. I used to think that becoming a parent would effectively end my days as a rock-n-roller; that I’d have to grow up, get serious, hock the guitar and buy a beige and brown wood-paneled station-wagon. I thought I’d lose my identity and become this other person. It’s not exactly like that. Turns out that becoming a parent did force me to grow up but I grew up in ways that matter. It enhanced my identity, gave me focus, made me stop sweating the trifling stuff that seemed so important, but that was just holding me back. I dropped alot of the idiotic crap I accumulated over a lifetime to make room for better things. Now that I have someone depending on me to be my best self I don’t have time for the stupid stuff.
So yeah, I did get serious. Back in the day, being in a band was a big party. Now time spent on music is time spent not focusing on my child, so it better be productive. The direction of my efforts has changed. Building a local following and playing thankless gigs in bars to people who are there to drink and check other people out just doesn’t seem to make as much sense in the context of being a parent. I don’t need to be a background sideshow for that. Going big, getting national attention, licensing songs to film, TV and other artists, getting serious about what I’m doing makes alot more sense now. Obstacles to that –mostly my bad attitude–have just evaporated. I used to have this attitude problem about being successful as a musician. Like if I sold a song, I was selling out. Now, that doesn’t even begin to make sense to me. That attitude is just an effort not to be disappointed by failure. Of course, by having that attitude, I was expecting failure, and you eventually get what you expect. Now, not so. I expect success and I make no apology about that.
I guess what I’m realizing is that it takes alot more guts to actually try than to skate by on talent alone and say “I’m not really even trying.” Becoming a parent has given me–no, REQUIRED me– to have the courage to do that. Thanks, Max.